The Office

I paced back and forth in the bathroom at work. The room was just large enough for me to walk three paces before turning around. I was counting my steps to distract myself. One, two, three, turn. One, two, three, turn.

It wasn’t working. I sat on the toilet seat for a minute, but that only reminded me of the problem I was having, and I started pacing again. I stopped in front of the mirror and tucked a stray strand of blonde hair that had escaped my ponytail. I kept my eyes above my waist.

When I finally heard a knock at the door, I quickly unlocked it and opened wide enough to confirm it was Olivia. She squealed in protest when I grabbed her arm and pulled her in, locking the door behind her.

“Liv…” I started, but she had already turned away from me in mild irritation to check her reflection in the mirror.

“What’s with the 911 text? If you needed a tampon, I could have just handed you one, no need for all this drama.” As she spoke, she frowned in the mirror and primped her hair. The top two buttons on her shirt were undone, and she leaned forward a bit to examine her cleavage and adjust her bra.

“Liv.” I grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face me. She saw the look in my eyes and her expression softened.

“What’s the matter, babe? Clothes emergency? You look great.” She frowned at my chest, much smaller than hers. “I wish I could wear these flimsy spaghetti strap dresses.”

“Liv!” I said her name forcefully enough to cause her eyes to snap back to mine, then I looked downward. She followed my gaze and gawked at the erection tenting the front of my dress.

“Oh. My. God.” Her eyes twinkled with excitement at my secret. “Did you wear a strap-on to work? That’s amazing. Let me see it!” She reached down to poke it, and I yelped and jumped backward.

“Um, not exactly?” I said as I lifted the hem of my dress so she could see the flesh-and-blood cock jutting over the lace trim of my underwear.

Liv’s mouth fell open, and for a moment, she was left speechless. “What? How?”

“Um, there’s this catalog?” I started explaining, the words pouring out of me in a nervous torrent. “It comes to my house, but I never subscribed to it, I think the person who lived here before got it? I dunno, but it’s full of crazy stuff. I figured it was all novelty shit, like x-ray glasses and stuff, but like the catalog is partly in Russian, and it just seemed really serious, you know? Like, not a joke, and anyway I was drunk one night, and I ordered this pill called ‘Temporary Cock?’ It said that it would give you a real cock for the day, like ‘see how the other side lives’ and stuff. Anyway I ordered it, and I took one this morning, because I figured it’d be nothing, but if it worked it’d be fun to see what it’s like, but I took it, and it’s been hard all morning, and I can’t walk around the office like this and what the fuck am I gonna do?” I finished talking in a rush, worried about how she would react.

Liv, who had been leaning over to peer at my cock, stood up and frowned at me as I finished talking. “You ordered a pill from some Russian catalog.” I nodded. “And you just, like, took it?” I nodded again. She shook her head and muttered, “Honey, we gotta talk about where to safely get drugs.” Then she sighed and looked at me again, more seriously. “Are you alright? Any side effects, other than, you know, that?”

“No, not really.” I shook my head. “Except that it’s rock hard and I’m really fucking horny.”

“Hmm.” She was staring at my cock again. “Well, sounds like you got lucky.”

“Liv, what am I gonna do? I can’t walk back to my desk like this!”

“Oh, that part’s easy.” She grinned wickedly at me. “You’re gonna have to jerk off. Like a dude.” Then she leaned back against the wall, smirking, apparently intending to watch.

“But I already have!” I lowered my voice to a whisper: “Twice.”

“Wow,” she said, looking impressed. “This pill is no joke.” She bent over again, looking as if she was inspecting a new car she was thinking of taking for a test drive.

I blushed under her intense scrutiny and backed away, but I ended up against the wall. She followed me and dropped to her knees. I tried to lower my dress to cover up, but she lifted it back up like it fell by mistake. I ended up awkwardly holding it up as she inspected me.

“And you can feel it? It’s a real part of you?” She ran a fingertip down the length of my shaft and my breath caught in my throat.

“Yeah, I can feel it, and it’s very… ah!” Before I could finish the thought, she had wrapped a hand around my cock and was moving it so she could examine it from every angle.

“This is a pretty great cock, babe. I mean, the last, like, five guys I dated wish they were packing heat like this.” She squeezed me and rubbed her thumb over a particularly sensitive spot near the tip. She grinned when it twitched in her hand.

I could barely think straight at this point. I was staring down at Liv touching my cock, and swelling with need. I was so confused, and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I wanted to tell her to stop, but I also desperately wanted her to keep going. Did she know how close to the edge I was getting? Was she deliberately pushing me closer?

We had each dated women before but were mostly into guys. Nothing had ever happened between us. I mean, we’d kissed a few times and slept in each other’s bed before, but nothing serious. And yet, here she was, her face right next to my cock. I could feel her breath on my skin. Why was I so turned on? Did I want this?

“I don’t understand what physically changed.” She sounded fascinated. “Like, is this your clit?” As she spoke, she kept squeezing me and grinning at the way it made me squirm.

“No! Yes? Ah! I don’t know!” I was moaning now and tightly clutching my dress to keep from putting my hands in her hair and pulling her closer. I was in no state to construct a detailed answer about how my anatomy had changed.

“Oh, wow!” Before I could protest, she had slipped her other hand into my underwear. “You’ve got the full package!” She winked at me as she cupped my balls, and I felt her fingertips probing further back. “Do you still have a pussy?”

“Liv, I don’t… ah fuck! You shouldn’t…” but before I could warn her, my cock started throbbing and pumping thick ropes of cum. She squealed in surprise when the first spurt hit her chin, and quickly adjusted my aim, so the rest fell onto her cleavage. I couldn’t stop myself from groaning and thrusting my hips towards her. She kept a firm grip through my orgasm, squeezing every drop from me. When I finally collapsed back against the wall, panting, and waved her away, she looked very pleased with herself.

“Well, that was fun,” she grinned, as she got some toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror to wipe the spunk from her chest. For a long moment, I couldn’t reply. I was still trying to catch my breath and sort through the sudden lust I was feeling for my best friend.

“Liv, I, uh…” I had no idea what I was going to say, which was fine because she cut me off immediately, walking over to give me a decidedly non-lusty kiss on the cheek.

“Trish, don’t worry about it, I said it was fun.” She beamed at me for a moment and then waggled a finger in the direction of my pelvis. “Now, why don’t you tuck that into your cute little boy-shorts and we’ll go back to work?”

We both looked down. My cock, still with a bit of cum glistening near the tip, protruded out the waistband of my underwear. It was already swelling back to full arousal.

I squeaked at the sight and clapped my hands over my mouth. My dress fell but did a terrible job of concealing anything.

“Huh.” Liv frowned as it twitched in her direction. “I don’t know whether to feel flattered or offended.”

“What am I gonna do?” I said, suddenly overwhelmed and close to tears.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright!” She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug. (Though I noticed she stepped to one side and leaned in so my cock wouldn’t poke her.) “We’ll figure this out. It can’t last forever. How long ago did you take the pill?”

“Um, a couple hours ago? It said it would take an hour to kick in, which was right after I got to the office. I’ve been in here ever since. The box is in my purse.”

“Okay, let’s see what we’re dealing with,” She grabbed my bag and dug through it until she found the package. Reading from the directions in a terrible Russian accent to try and get me to laugh, she dramatically pronounced “Duration 6-8 hour. Call doctor if last longer. Side effect include increased libido.”

“8 hours! Shit! I’m already hard again, I can’t go back to my desk like this!” I was freaking out. Thankfully, Liv was calmer.

“No problem. You stay here, and I’ll go tell the boss that you’re sick, and I’m taking you home.”

“I can’t go to my place, my roommate works from home! And how will I even get home? I can’t take the train like this.”

“It’s fine, chica! Shh, breathe.” She stroked my hair as I took a few shaky breaths. “I’ll get us an Uber, and we’ll go to my place. You can crash there overnight until the pill wears off, okay?”

I felt myself starting to calm down under her care. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“Okay.” She held my shoulder for a moment until she was sure I was done panicking. Then she unlocked the door and walked out.

I leaned against the sink and took some more slow, deep breaths and started feeling silly for overreacting. Everything would be fine, I’d just hang out at Liv’s place and wait it out. Before long, this would just be a funny story we’d share. “Hey, remember that time I took a Russian pill and grew a cock and came all over your tits?”

I bit my lip as the memory of her covered in my cum filled my mind. My cock twitched with need under my dress. I laughed at the dramatic mood swing from near-panic to complete arousal. Fuck, is this what it’s like for guys all the time? I felt like my brain was being hijacked by my limbic system. I couldn’t even think of Liv without imagining her…

A minute later my underwear was around my knees, I had a wad of toilet paper in one hand and my cock in the other. I was thinking about her lips. She had been so close that my cum hit her chin. What if instead of leaning back, so the rest landed on her chest, she had licked her lips and moved closer? I pictured her lips brushing my skin, wrapping around me, taking me into the heat of her mouth.

I grunted and felt a now-familiar sense of impending release swelling between my legs when the door opened, and Liv walked in. I yelped, and she laughed in surprise when she saw what I was doing. I forgot to lock it after she left!

Good thing it was her because there was no way to stop the orgasm that crashed over me at the sight of her. My knees shook, and I panted with each pulse of my cock. I stared at her with open lust, no longer caring if she saw it in my eyes. She watched eagerly as spurt after spurt of cum shot onto the tissue.

“Fuuuuuuck,” she whispered as I finished. “That is sexy.”

I didn’t trust myself to respond without making it awkward, so I didn’t say anything at all. I dropped the sticky tissues in the garbage, tugged my underwear over my cock, and let my dress fall back into place. Liv watched and shrugged at the erection already growing beneath the thin fabric.

“Well,” she said, “You’ll just have to hold your purse in front of you as we walk out. Our driver’s gonna be downstairs in a minute.” Then she took my hand and led me to the elevator.

• Next in series: The Uber